My entire life, I have never met anyone like Father Bernard. When we met in 2019, I did not envision that my life would revolve around him. Even when he expressed interest in me, I had no desire for him. I just wanted to focus on my education. Father offered to help me with my financial needs, and that got my attention.
This man took good care of me financially. He anticipated my needs and provided them for me before I even asked. He even gave me a car so I wouldn’t stress myself with public transportation. He also gave me enough money to buy fuel whenever I needed to. He did all of this for me but I did not fall in love with him. He, on the other hand, said he loved me…Click Here To Continue Reading>> …Click Here To Continue Reading>>
One day he proposed, “If I leave the priesthood, will you marry me?” Honestly, I panicked at his proposal. Yes, he is a generous man but he is also very toxic. There is a twenty-six-year-old age gap between us. That alone was enough for me to decide that I didn’t want to marry him. The other one was that he is a Priest. It’s one thing to date a man who belongs to God, but to snatch him completely from God? That’s something I will not do.
The most important reason is his jealous and controlling nature. This man dictated everything I did with my life. If I dressed up to look good, he would complain. He didn’t want other men looking at me and desiring me. If he called and I was already on a call, he would get angry. “Who were you talking to?” Does the person know that I bought you a car? Does he know you belong to me?” Even if I explained that I was talking to my father, he would ask why I didn’t hang up when I saw his call.
On his bad days, he would beat me. The first time it happened I was shocked. He didn’t feel remorse. Rather, he said I provoked him. I started plotting my escape from the relationship after that incident. But he compensated me with gifts and money. I was in school and needed all the help I could get so I stayed. It didn’t stop there. If he felt threatened by another man in my life, he would come to my apartment and cause a scene, and sometimes, hit me before he would calm down. How on earth would I want to spend the rest of my life with him?
I gave him a simple response to his proposal; “I wish I could marry you but your age is a problem. My people will not allow me to marry a man as old as you.” He tried his best to convince me but I stood my ground. In the end, he said, “If you won’t marry me, it’s okay. Just stay with me until you meet someone you want to marry. I promise I will let you go when that time comes.” I agreed to these terms and continued to be with him.
About a year ago, I met Chris. It was love at first sight. The chemistry between us was very thick but we were too shy to talk to each other. I am the one who found him on Facebook after our encounter and sent him a message. The conversation flowed from there. I liked him very much so I didn’t lie to him. I told him the truth about Father Bernard. He also told me, “You should know that I am a married man. However, that is not a problem. My culture allows me to marry a second wife.”
He explained that he was having problems with his wife, so he’d like to get to know me and marry me if I didn’t mind. At that moment, I was happy that I met someone I liked enough to cling to so I would let go of Father Bernard. I took my time to get to know him and I liked what I saw. Chris is calm. He has no abusive bone in his body. The man wouldn’t even argue or engage in a confrontation. Compared to my relationship with the Priest, he was a breath of fresh air. So I accepted his proposal.
When I tried to break up with the priest, he refused to go down without a fight. He kept reminding me of the fact that he bought me a car. I couldn’t take his taunts anymore so I returned his car. I thought he would leave me alone but this man was not satisfied. He had access to my apartment so he went there to collect all my belongings. He didn’t even leave my bed for me to sleep on. He is not the one who bought the items for me but he ceased them out of spite. To date, I am still trying to get him to return the things. READ FULL STORY HERE>>>CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING>>>
Through all the drama I faced from the priest, Chris stood by me. I live in the same region as him while his wife lives in another region. So I have never met her. She doesn’t know about our relationship either. The only time she comes up is when I am with him and she calls to ask him for money. If she says, “Honey, the kids saw something they like so I want to buy it for them,” Chris would drop everything and send her the money.
I admired this about him. I also respect that he has never spoken ill of his wife. All he says is that they are having problems. He refuses to give me details of the problem. The one thing he has done that I am not comfortable with is his behaviour when I ask him for money. When we started dating, I asked him for money on three occasions to fix my hair but he only gave me excuses. He never gave me the money so I got tired and stopped asking him for anything.
The only time he gave me money was when he gave me GHC1000 to buy some items for his house. The items cost GHC700 so he asked me to keep the change. That’s it. Even when I got pregnant and we decided that the timing wasn’t right to have the baby, he didn’t pay for me to get rid of it. I paid for the procedure myself. Later, he didn’t even ask me how I did it or how much it cost. I have gotten pregnant five times in the one year we have been together, and I am the one who paid for all the abortions.
This is something that bothers me. I keep wondering if this man is being stingy because we are not married. Is it that he is waiting for me to become his wife before he starts showing me generosity? I didn’t want to find things out after marriage so I did some investigation. I got my friend to talk to his wife to find out how he relates with her.
His wife told my friend, “Chris is not caring. Sometimes I have to force him to provide for our children. Apart from that, he gets a lot of mood swings. He can decide that he is not in the mood to talk, and he will ignore you until he feels like talking to you.” Some of these things are things I know about him already. I have learned to live with his mood swings so it doesn’t bother me anymore. Some of the things his wife said too are lies.
Chris is a lovely man when he is in a good mood. We would cook together and he would serve me. He orders my favourite meals when he knows I am having a bad day or he has offended me. I consider these acts as acts of care and love. Besides, I have seen the urgency with which he sends money to his wife when their kids want something, so I know she lied about that part too. In the end, I am left with more questions and no answers.
As I am sharing this story, Chris is putting pressure on me to meet my family. He wants us to start preparations for marriage. I love him very much but I am having second thoughts. I keep wondering if he will change and start providing for me once we get married.
There’s also a part of me that isn’t enthused about entering another woman’s marriage. I am trying to put myself in his wife’s shoes, and it doesn’t feel pleasant. I thought I found freedom when I left Father Bernard for Chris. But what if marrying Chris is another bondage on its own? Please I need advice on what to do.
Cornrows have become a crowd favorite for women of every culture in the last 10 years. Whereas it used to be worn by children, especially young African and African American girls, the style has become widely popular across women of all ages.
But many do not know the deep and rich history of the hairstyle that saved the lives of many. Moreover, they do not know of its role in the freedom struggles which have led to the liberties we now enjoy.
Justin Fashanu was the first black footballer to command a £1 million transfer fee in 1981.
He was also the first professional footballer to be openly gay. A gifted footballer loved by many, Fashanu nonetheless committed suicide on May 2, 1998, in the U.K., after a 17-year-old boy accused him of sexual assault in the U.S. where he had travelled to and met the man of whom he said their sex was consensual.
Born on February 19, 1961, Fashanu an English footballer of Nigerian heritage played for a variety of clubs between 1978 and 1997 was known by his early clubs to be gay although it was well managed not to draw the attention of the media…Click Here To Continue Reading>> …Click Here To Continue Reading>>
When he revealed that he was gay, he became the first professional footballer to be openly gay. His transfer from Norwich City to Nottingham Forest in 1981, marked him as the first black footballer to command a £1million transfer fee but critics say little success attended his efforts after the transfer although he continued to play at the senior level until 1994.
“After moving to the United States, in 1998 he was questioned by police when a seventeen-year-old boy accused him of sexual assault. He was charged and an arrest warrant for him was issued in Howard County, Maryland on 3 April 1998, but he had already left his flat. According to his suicide note, fearing he would not get a fair trial because of his homosexuality, he fled to England where he killed himself in London in May 1998. His suicide note stated that the sex was consensual.”
“Fashanu began his career as an apprentice with Norwich City, turning professional towards the end of December 1978. He made his league debut on 13 January 1979, against West Bromwich Albion, and settled into the Norwich side scoring regularly and occasionally spectacularly. In 1980, he won the BBC Goal of the Season award, for a spectacular goal against Liverpool. He managed a total of 103 senior appearances for Norwich, scoring 40 goals. While at the club he was also capped six times for England at under-21 level, although the anticipated call-up to the senior side ultimately never happened.”
Fashanu’s confidence and goals were soon in short supply when Coach Brian Clough in charge of Nottingham Forest discovered he was gay and was frequenting gay nightclubs and bars. When he found it tough adjusting to the playing and lifestyle demands of Clough, he barred him from training with the side leading to him scoring just three goals in 32 league games for Forest in 1981-82.
In August 1982, he was loaned to Southampton (scoring three goals in nine appearances) as he settled in well, helping the “Saints” overcome the sudden departure of Kevin Keegan. His move would have been permanent but of lack of funds. READ FULL STORY HERE>>>CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING>>>
Other teams he played for include Notts County, Brighton & Hove Albion, Los Angeles Heat, Edmonton Brickmen, Hamilton Steelers, Manchester City, West Ham United, Leyton Orient and Toronto Blizzard.
Although Fashanu stated his fellow players accepted him generally well following his October 1990 public announcement as gay in the Sun Newspaper becoming the only prominent player in English football to do so, he was nonetheless aware of malicious jokes made about his sexual orientation while becoming a target of constant crowd abuse because of it.
Fashanu was assistant manager for Ivan Golac who was manager of Torquay in February 1992.
“It was in March 1998, that the man claimed to police that he had been sexually assaulted by Fashanu after a night of drinking. Homosexual acts were illegal in the US state of Maryland at the time, and the youth stated the act was not consensual but being performed as he awoke. The assault was alleged to have taken place in Fashanu’s apartment in Ellicott City, Maryland, United States. Fashanu was questioned about this by the police on 3 April, but he was not held in custody. The police later arrived at his flat with a warrant to arrest him on charges of second-degree sexual assault, first-degree assault, and second-degree assault, but Fashanu had already fled to England.”
On the morning of 3 May, he was found hanged in a deserted lock-up garage he had broken into, in Fairchild Place, Shoreditch, London, after visiting Chariots Roman Spa, a local gay sauna.
Fashanu’s remains were cremated and a small ceremony was held at City of London Cemetery and Crematorium. Fashanu was listed at number 99 in the Top 500 Lesbian and Gay Heroes in The Pink Paper.
In 2017, Netflix released the film, Forbidden Games: The Justin Fashanu Story.
A disturbing incident has surfaced on TikTok, where a Nigerian woman reportedly injured her sister’s eye out of envy, as men allegedly favored her sister’s looks over hers.
The viral video shows the younger sister with a severely injured eye, purportedly caused by the attack. The caption reads, “Jealousy can be witchcraft in disguise. See what a sister did to her own blood because men prefer her younger sister’s beauty over hers…Click Here To Continue Reading>> …Click Here To Continue Reading>>
