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I Left a Catholic Priest Only To Fall for a Stingy Married Man –

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My entire life, I have never met anyone like Father Bernard. When we met in 2019, I did not envision that my life would revolve around him. Even when he expressed interest in me, I had no desire for him. I just wanted to focus on my education. Father offered to help me with my financial needs, and that got my attention.

This man took good care of me financially. He anticipated my needs and provided them for me before I even asked. He even gave me a car so I wouldn’t stress myself with public transportation. He also gave me enough money to buy fuel whenever I needed to. He did all of this for me but I did not fall in love with him. He, on the other hand, said he loved me…Click Here To Continue Reading>> …Click Here To Continue Reading>>

 

One day he proposed, “If I leave the priesthood, will you marry me?” Honestly, I panicked at his proposal. Yes, he is a generous man but he is also very toxic. There is a twenty-six-year-old age gap between us. That alone was enough for me to decide that I didn’t want to marry him. The other one was that he is a Priest. It’s one thing to date a man who belongs to God, but to snatch him completely from God? That’s something I will not do.

The most important reason is his jealous and controlling nature. This man dictated everything I did with my life. If I dressed up to look good, he would complain. He didn’t want other men looking at me and desiring me. If he called and I was already on a call, he would get angry. “Who were you talking to?” Does the person know that I bought you a car? Does he know you belong to me?” Even if I explained that I was talking to my father, he would ask why I didn’t hang up when I saw his call.

On his bad days, he would beat me. The first time it happened I was shocked. He didn’t feel remorse. Rather, he said I provoked him. I started plotting my escape from the relationship after that incident. But he compensated me with gifts and money. I was in school and needed all the help I could get so I stayed. It didn’t stop there. If he felt threatened by another man in my life, he would come to my apartment and cause a scene, and sometimes, hit me before he would calm down. How on earth would I want to spend the rest of my life with him?

I gave him a simple response to his proposal; “I wish I could marry you but your age is a problem. My people will not allow me to marry a man as old as you.” He tried his best to convince me but I stood my ground. In the end, he said, “If you won’t marry me, it’s okay. Just stay with me until you meet someone you want to marry. I promise I will let you go when that time comes.” I agreed to these terms and continued to be with him.

About a year ago, I met Chris. It was love at first sight. The chemistry between us was very thick but we were too shy to talk to each other. I am the one who found him on Facebook after our encounter and sent him a message. The conversation flowed from there. I liked him very much so I didn’t lie to him. I told him the truth about Father Bernard. He also told me, “You should know that I am a married man. However, that is not a problem. My culture allows me to marry a second wife.”

He explained that he was having problems with his wife, so he’d like to get to know me and marry me if I didn’t mind. At that moment, I was happy that I met someone I liked enough to cling to so I would let go of Father Bernard. I took my time to get to know him and I liked what I saw. Chris is calm. He has no abusive bone in his body. The man wouldn’t even argue or engage in a confrontation. Compared to my relationship with the Priest, he was a breath of fresh air. So I accepted his proposal.

When I tried to break up with the priest, he refused to go down without a fight. He kept reminding me of the fact that he bought me a car. I couldn’t take his taunts anymore so I returned his car. I thought he would leave me alone but this man was not satisfied. He had access to my apartment so he went there to collect all my belongings. He didn’t even leave my bed for me to sleep on. He is not the one who bought the items for me but he ceased them out of spite. To date, I am still trying to get him to return the things. READ FULL STORY HERE>>>CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING>>>

Through all the drama I faced from the priest, Chris stood by me. I live in the same region as him while his wife lives in another region. So I have never met her. She doesn’t know about our relationship either. The only time she comes up is when I am with him and she calls to ask him for money. If she says, “Honey, the kids saw something they like so I want to buy it for them,” Chris would drop everything and send her the money.

I admired this about him. I also respect that he has never spoken ill of his wife. All he says is that they are having problems. He refuses to give me details of the problem. The one thing he has done that I am not comfortable with is his behaviour when I ask him for money. When we started dating, I asked him for money on three occasions to fix my hair but he only gave me excuses. He never gave me the money so I got tired and stopped asking him for anything.

The only time he gave me money was when he gave me GHC1000 to buy some items for his house. The items cost GHC700 so he asked me to keep the change. That’s it. Even when I got pregnant and we decided that the timing wasn’t right to have the baby, he didn’t pay for me to get rid of it. I paid for the procedure myself. Later, he didn’t even ask me how I did it or how much it cost. I have gotten pregnant five times in the one year we have been together, and I am the one who paid for all the abortions.

This is something that bothers me. I keep wondering if this man is being stingy because we are not married. Is it that he is waiting for me to become his wife before he starts showing me generosity? I didn’t want to find things out after marriage so I did some investigation. I got my friend to talk to his wife to find out how he relates with her.

His wife told my friend, “Chris is not caring. Sometimes I have to force him to provide for our children. Apart from that, he gets a lot of mood swings. He can decide that he is not in the mood to talk, and he will ignore you until he feels like talking to you.” Some of these things are things I know about him already. I have learned to live with his mood swings so it doesn’t bother me anymore. Some of the things his wife said too are lies.

Chris is a lovely man when he is in a good mood. We would cook together and he would serve me. He orders my favourite meals when he knows I am having a bad day or he has offended me. I consider these acts as acts of care and love. Besides, I have seen the urgency with which he sends money to his wife when their kids want something, so I know she lied about that part too. In the end, I am left with more questions and no answers.

As I am sharing this story, Chris is putting pressure on me to meet my family. He wants us to start preparations for marriage. I love him very much but I am having second thoughts. I keep wondering if he will change and start providing for me once we get married.

There’s also a part of me that isn’t enthused about entering another woman’s marriage. I am trying to put myself in his wife’s shoes, and it doesn’t feel pleasant. I thought I found freedom when I left Father Bernard for Chris. But what if marrying Chris is another bondage on its own? Please I need advice on what to do.

 

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METRO

12 Lies Our Parents Told Us That We Believed Without Question

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Growing up, our parents were our ultimate guides, teaching us about the world—even if they had to get a little creative with the truth. From quirky tales to well-meaning fibs, they often fed us lines we never thought to question.

Here are 12 of the funniest, strangest, and most surprising “lies” parents told to our readers that they wholeheartedly believed in childhood…Click Here To Continue Reading>> …Click Here To Continue Reading>>

 

Swallowed Gum Stays in You for 7 Years.

Growing up, I believed that swallowing gum meant it would stay in my stomach for seven years. I panicked every time I accidentally swallowed it. As an adult, I looked it up and laughed—turns out it’s just a myth!

If You Cross Your Eyes, They’ll Stay That Way.

My mom always said crossing my eyes would make them “stick that way.” I spent years terrified of making funny faces, only to find out in adulthood it was just her trick to stop me from doing it.

The Tooth Fairy Knows When You’re Lying.

I believed the Tooth Fairy could sense if I lied. I once “found” an extra tooth to get more money, but then I was so scared of getting caught that I confessed to my mom… who was just trying not to laugh.

Popping Your Knuckles Causes Arthritis.

My grandmother swore that if I popped my knuckles, I’d get arthritis. I’d suppress every urge to crack a knuckle until a doctor later told me it was a harmless myth. Now, I pop them whenever I like!

Swallowed Watermelon Seeds Will Grow in Your Stomach.

I spent years spitting out watermelon seeds, terrified they’d grow into a plant inside me. I felt so betrayed when I found out this was just another fun “lesson” adults liked to tell kids.

Birds Will Abandon Their Babies if You Touch Them.

My mom told me birds would abandon their chicks if I touched them, so I never got near a nest. Years later, I found out birds don’t even have a strong sense of smell, and the lesson was just to keep me from “saving” every baby bird I saw. READ FULL STORY HERE>>>CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING>>>

The “Poisonous” Car Battery Acid

My dad told me touching the car battery would “burn a hole in your skin.” I thought the battery was oozing poison and avoided it for years, only to learn that it’s not dangerous if you just leave it alone.

Eating Carrots Improves Night Vision.

I would eat loads of carrots as a kid, believing I’d eventually develop “super” night vision. Later I learned carrots have Vitamin A, but they don’t make you see in the dark. I felt so let down!

“Keep a Diary, or You’ll Forget Who You Are.”

My aunt convinced me to write in a diary every day, saying it was “the only way to remember who you are when you’re older.” I kept journals for years out of fear, only to realize one day that memories don’t vanish that easily.

If You Make a Face Too Long, It’ll Stay That Way.

I spent most of my childhood avoiding any facial expressions that might “stick” and ruin my appearance forever. It wasn’t until adulthood that I realized there was no magical force preventing me from pulling faces.

The Moon Follows You When You Drive.

I was convinced as a kid that the moon followed me everywhere I went in the car. I’d point it out to my family every time we’d turn, and they’d nod along—no one told me the moon’s just really far away!

The Ice Cream Truck Will Only Play Music if It’s Out of Ice Cream.

I used to believe the ice cream truck only played its music when it was out of ice cream to tell kids to go home. I spent so many summers disappointed, waiting for the truck to come back, only to realize the music just meant they were driving around!

 

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How The Cornrow Hairstyle Was Used As An Escape Map From Slavery Across South America

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Cornrows have become a crowd favorite for women of every culture in the last 10 years. Whereas it used to be worn by children, especially young African and African American girls, the style has become widely popular across women of all ages.

But many do not know the deep and rich history of the hairstyle that saved the lives of many. Moreover, they do not know of its role in the freedom struggles which have led to the liberties we now enjoy.

Cornrows have long been a facet of African beauty and life. In many African societies, braid patterns and hairstyles indicate a person’s community, age, marital status, wealth, power, social position, and religion. In the Caribbean, the style may be referred to as cane rows to represent “slaves planting sugar cane”, and not corn…Click Here To Continue Reading>> …Click Here To Continue Reading>>

 

The style consists of braiding the “hair very close to the scalp in an underhand, upward motion in order to create a single line of raised row, creating the cornrow”.

Blackdoctor.org writes on the history of cornrows:

“Depictions of women with cornrows have been found in Stone Age paintings in the Tassili Plateau of the Sahara, and have been dated as far back as 3000 B.C. There are also Native American paintings as far back as 1,000 years showing cornrows as a hairstyle. This tradition of female styling in cornrows has remained popular throughout Africa, particularly in the Horn of Africa and West Africa.

African Cornrow hairstyle

Historically, male styling with cornrows can be traced as far back as the early nineteenth century to Ethiopia, where warriors and kings such as Tewodros II and Yohannes IV were depicted wearing cornrows.”

Now to its role during the Transatlantic Slave Trade:

During the Atlantic Slave Trade, many slaves were forced to shave their hair to be more ‘sanitary’ and to also move them away from their culture and identity.

But not all enslaved Africans would not keep their hairs cut. Many would braid their hairs tightly in cornrows and more “to maintain a neat and tidy appearance”.

Enslaved Africans also used cornrows to transfer and create maps to leave plantations and the home of their captors. This act of using hair as a tool for resistance is said to have been evident across South America. READ FULL STORY HERE>>>CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING>>>

It is most documented in Colombia where Benkos Bioho, a King captured from Africa by the Portuguese who escaped slavery, built San Basilio de Palenque, a village in Northern Colombia around the 17thcentury. Bioho created his own language as well as intelligence network and also came up with the idea to have women create maps and deliver messages through their cornrows.

The site Edtimes explains,

“Since slaves were rarely given the privilege of writing material or even if they did have it, such kind of messages or maps getting in the wrong hands could create a lot of trouble for the people in question, cornrows were the perfect way to go about such things.

African Cornrow hairstyle

No one would question or think that one could hide entire maps in their hairstyle, so it was easy to circulate them without anyone finding out about it.”

Afro-Colombia, Ziomara Asprilla Garcia, further explained to the Washington Post in the article, Afro-Colombian women braid messages of freedom in hairstyles:

“In the time of slavery in Colombia, hair braiding was used to relay messages. For example, to signal that they wanted to escape, women would braid a hairstyle called departes. “It had thick, tight braids, braided closely to the scalp and was tied into buns on the top.

And another style had curved braids, tightly braided on their heads. The curved braids would represent the roads they would [use to] escape. In the braids, they also kept gold and hid seeds which, in the long run, helped them survive after they escaped.”

Garcia said with satisfaction that there has been a resurgence of braided hairstyles in Colombia in recent years. But this reality is not only evident in Colombia but all around the world.

 

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The sad end of Justin Fashanu; first known black gay footballer who commanded a £1m transfer fee

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Justin Fashanu

Justin Fashanu was the first black footballer to command a £1 million transfer fee in 1981.

He was also the first professional footballer to be openly gay. A gifted footballer loved by many, Fashanu nonetheless committed suicide on May 2, 1998, in the U.K., after a 17-year-old boy accused him of sexual assault in the U.S. where he had travelled to and met the man of whom he said their sex was consensual.

Born on February 19, 1961, Fashanu an English footballer of Nigerian heritage played for a variety of clubs between 1978 and 1997 was known by his early clubs to be gay although it was well managed not to draw the attention of the media…Click Here To Continue Reading>> …Click Here To Continue Reading>>

 

When he revealed that he was gay, he became the first professional footballer to be openly gay. His transfer from Norwich City to Nottingham Forest in 1981, marked him as the first black footballer to command a £1million transfer fee but critics say little success attended his efforts after the transfer although he continued to play at the senior level until 1994.

“After moving to the United States, in 1998 he was questioned by police when a seventeen-year-old boy accused him of sexual assault. He was charged and an arrest warrant for him was issued in Howard County, Maryland on 3 April 1998, but he had already left his flat. According to his suicide note, fearing he would not get a fair trial because of his homosexuality, he fled to England where he killed himself in London in May 1998. His suicide note stated that the sex was consensual.”

“Fashanu began his career as an apprentice with Norwich City, turning professional towards the end of December 1978. He made his league debut on 13 January 1979, against West Bromwich Albion, and settled into the Norwich side scoring regularly and occasionally spectacularly. In 1980, he won the BBC Goal of the Season award, for a spectacular goal against Liverpool. He managed a total of 103 senior appearances for Norwich, scoring 40 goals. While at the club he was also capped six times for England at under-21 level, although the anticipated call-up to the senior side ultimately never happened.”

Fashanu’s confidence and goals were soon in short supply when Coach Brian Clough in charge of Nottingham Forest discovered he was gay and was frequenting gay nightclubs and bars. When he found it tough adjusting to the playing and lifestyle demands of Clough, he barred him from training with the side leading to him scoring just three goals in 32 league games for Forest in 1981-82.

In August 1982, he was loaned to Southampton (scoring three goals in nine appearances) as he settled in well, helping the “Saints” overcome the sudden departure of Kevin Keegan. His move would have been permanent but of lack of funds. READ FULL STORY HERE>>>CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING>>>

Other teams he played for include Notts County, Brighton & Hove Albion, Los Angeles Heat, Edmonton Brickmen, Hamilton Steelers, Manchester City, West Ham United, Leyton Orient and Toronto Blizzard.

Justin Fashanu

Although Fashanu stated his fellow players accepted him generally well following his October 1990 public announcement as gay in the Sun Newspaper becoming the only prominent player in English football to do so, he was nonetheless aware of malicious jokes made about his sexual orientation while becoming a target of constant crowd abuse because of it.

Fashanu was assistant manager for Ivan Golac who was manager of Torquay in February 1992.

It was in March 1998, that the man claimed to police that he had been sexually assaulted by Fashanu after a night of drinking. Homosexual acts were illegal in the US state of Maryland at the time, and the youth stated the act was not consensual but being performed as he awoke. The assault was alleged to have taken place in Fashanu’s apartment in Ellicott City, Maryland, United States. Fashanu was questioned about this by the police on 3 April, but he was not held in custody. The police later arrived at his flat with a warrant to arrest him on charges of second-degree sexual assault, first-degree assault, and second-degree assault, but Fashanu had already fled to England.”

On the morning of 3 May, he was found hanged in a deserted lock-up garage he had broken into, in Fairchild Place, Shoreditch, London, after visiting Chariots Roman Spa, a local gay sauna.

Fashanu’s remains were cremated and a small ceremony was held at City of London Cemetery and Crematorium. Fashanu was listed at number 99 in the Top 500 Lesbian and Gay Heroes in The Pink Paper.

In 2017, Netflix released the film, Forbidden Games: The Justin Fashanu Story.

 

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